It didn’t phase me today when I noticed a half-eaten sausage hanging from a nail on the wall in our kitchen terrace. Keeps it fresh right?
Yes… I think this may be a sign of “spanishization”
Last week I was in New York, city that is, right in midtown within walking distance from Times Square. Talk about overwhelming. I have to say that I was feeling a bit like a country bumpkin as I hustled across the street from my hotel first thing in the morning to get a coffee to start the day.
I figured Starbucks was a sure bet since there seems to literally be one on every street corner (kind of like Dunkin Donuts (or DD as it’s now called)) back in Boston, and there wouldn’t be any surprises. First off, I was a bit surprised to see the size of the line given that there are so many other identical hot spots all around. But I wasn’t in a big rush, so no big deal.
When my turn came I smiled and said hi to the barista. And that was the mistake.
Image representative of my experience. Actual faces and baristas ficticious.
The girl looked at me like I as crazy, like why would I waste time saying something like that when I could have used that same breath to say my order. So I said my coffee order. She immediately responded with the amount I owed, but I had to say that I wasn’t done yet; I wanted something to eat as well. I don’t think she was happy with my speed.
So, in the end the coffee was delicious and the food wasn’t bad, but I definitely learned my lesson about taking the time to smile and say hi the next day when I went back. Maybe it’s not like this all over, but in the center of the big apple for sure.
When I was telling my friends and coworkers about this everyone just laughed and said “you’ve become so spanish”. I guess I get it now when people say I’ve become “españolizada” or “spanishized” as I like to call it.
This year I forgot about the 4th of July, breezed past memorial and labor day, and ate fish on Thanksgiving. There was no typical red, white and blue attire on the 4th and no turkey and stuffing on Turkey Day. Have I become too spanishized? This year has made me take a step back and wonder: To what point is it a good thing to be so immersed and assimilated into a different culture that you forget the basics of your own?
In a few months down the road I’ll be pledging my allegiance to a new flag to officially become Spanish (not that I’ll stop pledging to the other – unless Trump wins…). While this may seem like 100% Spanishized, that pesky American-themed accent will also be there to remind me and others that, at the end of the day, I am still, and will always be, American. But, this isn’t a bad thing after all.
Ten years ago when I first moved to Spain I made a concentrated effort to not connect with the large American community in Madrid in order to try to assimilate myself into the Spanish culture. I managed to find a job at a small Spanish company which threw me right into the Spanish paella mix, and I met my future husband who’s Spanish and hung out with him and his Spanish friends. Basically, my plan worked.
Now, ten years later and with a 2 1/2 year old son, I’ve started to wonder if maybe it’s time to get back to my American roots and find some fellow right, white and blue-ers over here in Madrid. As much as I like being assimilated, I now sometimes miss being able to have that natural easy connection with a fellow American, especially with kids. I want my son to experience both cultures’ customs, and it’s not that easy to show him some American traditions alone (especially when now I’m seeming to forget them unless I put it on the calendar). I guess I’ll say mission accomplished for a decade of being Spanishized and fitting in (until I open my mouth to speak), but maybe now it’s time for more of a Spanglish style over here.
Urban Dictionary definition: Spanishize: “the process by which one becomes spanish.” In my opinion this word isn’t so much about the process, but more about the final product. Getting used to the lifestyle and culture is one thing; starting to think and dream in Spanish and mixing up your English is another. That’s when you really understand the definition.
The other day I stumbled upon an article in thelocal.es called “Ten signs you’ve been spanishized”. http://www.thelocal.es/galleries/4/ten-signs-youve-been-spanishized
As an American in Spain, reading this really made me laugh, and at the same time I realized once again that this definitely has happened to me. A few years ago, if I had looked at this article I probably would have just chuckled. But reading this now, it all just seems to make SO much sense (another sign). Since it fits in with the “Who Am I?” section of this blog, I thought I would share these signs and add a few of my own commentaries:
1. You’ve gone all touchy feely. I wouldn’t say this is a bad thing by any means, but it is true that the culture here tends to be more physical. I’ve noticed this particularly in the workplace where it’s completely normal to be touchy feeling with coworkers while telling a story or give someone a kiss/hug before and after vacation periods. Coming from the US where personal space is more coveted than a parking space, this can be a bit uncomfortable at first. Over time though you just find yourself reaching out to everyone.
2. You’ve started yelling at waiters. You have to get their attention somehow, right? Of course now back in the US I feel the need after the 10th time my waiter/waitress comes up to me to see how I’m doing and if I need anything else to just say “I’m going to give you your 20% tip; please just give me a little space!” (and to think I used to be a waitress)
3. You have breakfast in a bar. The word “bar” itself has a different meaning in Spain. You can sometimes get the best fresh-squeezed orange juice, coffee and morning breakfast pincho (little appetizer) at a bar. Or if you feel like adding a caña (small beer) in too, that’s quite alright. Bars are pretty universal for breakfast, lunch, dinner, drinks, you name it and can be similar to a restaurant. I wouldn’t think twice about taking my baby in his stroller into a bar with me here; and I don’t think anyone would look twice either.
4. You’ve lost your political correctness. Being P.C. goes out the window with a little time over here. You can try to maintain your P.C. righteousness, but trust me; it will just fade over time as you realize it’s not conscious prejudice, but really just a cultural way of being in a country that’s still new to having a large foreigner population.
5. You’ve stopped being so polite. As Americans we tend to be overly polite and apologize for everything, especially within work environments. You’ll soon realize no one else is going out of their way to be polite, so maybe you need to think about it as well. The first time I realized that I had changed with this was at work (I was the only American in the office) during a phone call with international colleagues. The Americans were being way more polite than us, and they were really getting on my nerves! Also, when your boss tells you during an evaluation that if people are yelling at you in a meeting that you should yell back, well…you can see how being polite goes out the window.
6. You keep mixing your wine and beer with stuff. How would it work if you didn’t mix it?
7. Dead animal bits hanging up seem normal. It’s clear that the sign of a good tapas bar are a number of ham legs hanging up when you walk in. After a while you don’t even notice them anymore; trust me. You’ll only notice them when you’re with someone who’s visiting.
8. You tackle Spanish bureaucracy with confidence. After getting my NIE (national foreigner ID card), getting married, renewing working papers, switching a work residency card to a non-working residency card, getting a marriage residency card, having a baby, getting an EU license, signing up for unemployment…let’s just say that you get used to the lengthy document collection processes. By the time the third one rolls around you’ll already have the fingerprint process down pat. You’ll be prepared with 3 photocopies of everything in hand and and a stern face to deal with the disgruntled government worker.
9. You can’t stop kissing everyone. Kissing a person who interviews you for a job just seems normal. Kissing your coworkers just seems normal. Just be careful when you go home and are introduced to a friend’s boy/girlfriend and go in for a kiss.
10. 8pm seems way too early for dinner. 9pm just seems normal. With working hours generally on the longer side here, it would be hard to try to have dinner US-style at 6pm. Plus, I can’t imagine now going to bed hungry.
And a few others I’d like to add:
If you read all of these without a blink and they just seem normal, that may be a sign of being spanishized. Now, this isn’t necessarily a bad thing; just don’t forget to think twice before applying some of these in the US. Take this as a little piece of advice from an American in Spain who perhaps (only perhaps) may have had a few embarrassing moments while back in the US…
Spanishized: Insights from an American in Spain 